Written by Akinwale Peace Akindayo.
Who want to be reproached?
I once said both genders have no reason to cheat and both genders grow weird when one betrays the other. This often lead to a distant war room clash where none of them want to give up because "they don't want to be reproached".
Taking another picture to what reproach means, in the ordinary sense reproach means the sense of dullness or shame, Bette addressed disgrace.
According to Philip Peace "reproach means been tame and tagged a dull being which irrevocably becomes a shame."
Theoretically, what I mean with reproach in relationship is "the inability to fight a needless battle but seriously need to fight".
Now, the battle can be elucidated into two:
Fighting the partner
Fighting the person caught cheating with the partner.
Who want to be reproached?
Who want the cooking gas to spill out and burn the whole house?
Fighting the partner has no physical means of combating but has a theoretical means with a practical action.
If the lady is caught cheating and showed no form of remorse or bitterness for the act, it feels bad.
Yea, seriously hurts but won't never let go. After all the pleadings and recalling the past promises and how love has killed him for her sake, how love had hurt him for sweetness and at the end, she could hook up so cheaply and easily with another guy. It does feel bad to see been cheated and thus' she felt no remorse, which worsened up the situation.
"It's already a reproach"
I said so cos' he was unable to calm the fury down and has also subjected himself to the ridicule of been vulnerable to let bygone be bygone.
And after many thoughts, he resolved to a bad thought to make fun of her?
To make her ridiculed as she has ridiculed him?
Thus', he'd already set his friends for a group sex all because she ridiculed him.
"It's another reproach"
When you rape your ex because she broke your heart, then you ain't the real man but the fading man with a faded sense of justice!
On the lady's part, you've been keeping the urge to shout out your headaches about the cheating information of your guy and you are held down with the words, "save your marriage/relationship"
I ask you, "what marriage is there to save?
The tearing apart marriage or the marriage of a broken heart?"
"It's already a reproach, some will say you can't keep a relationship while some will say you are of a simple heart"
The fact that lies in the truth is "understanding".
You have to take the reproach and understand a raw lie when you know the truth.
Yea, you have to understand the raw lie, it's from this that you'll know if he cheats intentionally or he does it as a result of a backbone that couldn't free his neck.
I once said "transparency isn't the mirror but the eye to the heart" When you discover this, you have to understand and help him.
But, Yea you understand your husband cheats you and you can't bear it again.
What do you do?
You set him up for a public naked ridicule or a plot to kill him all because he'd ridiculed you by reproach?
"Now listen, males and females, married and unmarried, the pride of the relationship isn't based on love or money but its success lies on the 'understanding".
If you understand your husband, you'll know when he cheats and why he did it, you will know what he want from you in his silence and you'll also take note of his weak areas where you can get him sited for a talk.
For male, catching your girl cheating without a form of remorse isn't a course to pull off the wedding ring.
All needed is the understanding. Tho' she'd just betrayed the marriage vows and promises to be faithful, you still need your privacy to see to the action that led to the immoral act and also to see to the act of no remorse after been caught.
In conclusion, "love and trust are not the basic foundation of relationship but understanding is".
Let me say this in a different term:
"Male makes females weird and feel like a vampire in the midst of sheep while females made males weird and turn a sex addict, graduating to an abuse host seeking for innocent girls to lay with in revenge for the broken heart".
Why do you want many to perish because of the sin of a soul?
Now, taking another view at the reproach, I can as well say " its the ability to stay cautioned tho' the heart pricking event".
It's a stigma when they see you resigned to fate and fall like a log of wood, yet, it's a glory that self respect and dignity will silently fight for you.
"Nobody want to be reproached and nobody gets reproached, it depends on the perspective that you viewed it"
"words from the innocent mind"