SOUL'S SOLE JUSTICE.
Dedicated to every woman who rightly fought back.
"Fighting with your strength lies on your basis; you are your voice, you are your strength, your challenges doesn't end easily, you do something to bring them to its final end."
Sade, a very light (decorated with brown colour) hears a beeping radio from the policeman. She sit there looking courageously helpless. She smiles at herself when she hears the Commissioner of Police saying, "hers is a critical case, we must treat this with all sensitivity, we must be careful now."
She adjust her falling dress and looks at her hand. She remembers telling her children when the older daughter asked
"Mummy, there is blood in your hand, where are you coming from?"
She wasn't expecting her, she has been arrainged to see the bar in few moons, there is no greater shock.
She feigned a smile weakly, she held her hand and clasp it together with hers, she looked into her eye and smile
"Don't be like me. Nobody will force you, even your instincts will not..."
"Mummy, what is with the blood?"
Her voice became terrible, her eye wore a yellow burn of fire, her voice crackled.
"Sewa, you have a blood in your hands too. I nailed myself to the cross: your cross, our cross. Look at your brother, you two will see me soon."
She said and dropped her hands as the siren of the policemen kept blaring. She wasn't pushed nor dragged as some Nigerian policemen will do, she was ushered with care; a pregnant mother.
She looked through the window and told her daughter,
"Not in the house. (she inhaled) you'll see me at the station."
The steering whirled off and the screeching tyres yielded to controls.
"Maami, we are not disabled, we only strive to make ends meet and I've told you, I've promised you that I will not disappoint Baami, I will not disappoint you too, Maami. Baami must not do this too, he musn't!"
She stood fearlessly, her eye showed faint withers of fallen embers, she stood their panting like an athlete who just ran his life with a wild dog. She looked at herself before her mirror. She carried her breast — she is of age but her chest is too small for her to flaunt, she shook her head to negativity.
"No, Maami. You can't do this!"
"My daughter, abi Omo mi, eh, you should understand your father oh. This thing we're talking about is for the good of the family. And...even, yes...I mean, this man we're talking about sef, he is not old like that oh. He is not old, he is just in his mid thirties and very soon, in few months, my daughter, you will..."
"become twenty". (Sade cut in).
She smiled at Sade.
"Maami, I don't want this marriage, I'll take care of you. We're not disabled, we're just poor, maami!"
"Really? What is your definition of poverty with disability? We cannot get food on our table, we cannot even send you to school, what is the best definition of poverty to disability? We are disable!
Financially, physically, socially...I attended my friend's wedding ceremony, her daughter got married to a divorced man..."
"But I am not (like) her daughter, why should I marry this man?"
Mrs Ajoke looked at her and folded her hands.
"Maami, we are not disabled, an eye that keeps itself in the dark while it embraces atrocity is disabled and the hand that embraces cheat, ill treatment, girl child damn marriage is disabled, maami!
Will you keep looking at me like this till Baami do all this?"
Mrs Ajoke turned her back at her. She used the edge of her wrapper to wipe her eye — it's filled with wine, wine from her unsaid pain.
She snorted and said after a long silent deep breath.
"I met your father before I met you, you must obey your father."
"Why will you keep doing this when you have me in the house? You told me not to work, you go to work, enjoy yourself and instead of coming home as early as five o'clock when you're through with work, you enjoy the company of those sluts on the highway. Look at yourself, you have a daughter already, I have spent my years knowing a wife beating husband. I couldn't take it, I told you, I left, I filed a divorce, you said you still love me, is this the love you want to show?"
She wore a body of pain. She looked at him wryly and sighed.
"I am weak when I hurt you, but your words gives me strength at times, how long/much do you want me to meet your body? I am man, a man, not a woman who cannot taste the world, I am a man! So get it now, I can't keep doing all this with your body, there are other young girls who knows how to compete with me."
He strangled her ear, it hurts.
"You're older than you ought to be."
he looked at her with a side eye and hissed.
"You still treat me like a child, I am your wife for heaven's sake! You're going out again? You're walking out on me again, you are going to meet those bundle of holes, right?"
She stood up, with her big belly, she walked to the door to close the door behind him.
"Don't come inside tonight."
"Is this your house or mine? Who gave you the gut to speak with me like that, am I your high school daughter?
Which highschool? your daughter is still in the Nursery School, take care of her, I have money to take care of her so that she won't be like you!
Prematurely espoused to marriage!"
He said the last statement with a mutter. She looked at him.
"I am carrying your baby, can't you just stay at home and take care of us all?"
She said, trying to take it easy.
"If you say anything again, I'll slap you.
"Is it just slap? I've enjoyed that weekly, if not daily. Go on, hit me, hit me, hit me. Bastard, you need a rope to tie your dangling manhood!"
He pushed her to the door, slapped her, he kicked her angrily.
"You are stupid, you will never learn."
He shook her, opened her eye and looked straight at her eye,
"You will never learn, stupid!"
He slapped her again, her face wore fainting brown, scars are part of her already.
"If you dare call me a bastard again, I'll throw out, you can go to your stupid father!"
He pushed her to the floor as she hit her head on the table, lying amidst the sitting room chairs. He went out and shut the door behind him.
She stood helplessly, she felt a sharp cut, felt a sour pain, felt a dry throat. Tears were not far from her, she is tired of crying already. She crawled and held on to one of the sofas, she lied down by it.
Sewa, her daughter saw it all from upstairs, she was too young to know what was going on.
"Sola, you have two children already, what else do you want? I would have given birth to more than two, do you know you've killed three of my children before birth?"
"What can I do? I was drunk!"
She said, holding his fist furiously.
'You are drunk, so it made you beat me everyday. I became a bag, you treat me well outside — I give the best smile in the world and I tell them you're the best husband. They don't know you get high and rape your wife!"
"Watch your tongue, woman! I legally took you from your father, how can I rape my wife!"
"You rape her when you're back from one of your night clubs, you bang the door shouting, calling her loudly with your lips, accosted with a drunk speaker!
You call her the wretched woman, she serves you dinner and gives you water and if you by chance catch a glimpse of her fallen breast or her crying smiles, if you by chance catch a glimpse of her hips in the pyjamas, you tell her to order you to the room so as not to fall down and you push yourself on her while you smell of strong alcohol when she gets to the room. You thrust yourself in her and your drunkenness leaves you. You devilishly smile at her and forcefully snatch her bra, tear her singlet while the helpless body who is tired of crying looks at you with a tear fallen to the other side of her chin.
You know tears fall and stream near the nose, hers falls and streams through her chin and down to the bed while you angrily bite her nipple. The marks the children would never give, you would give it to her and say, "you're feeling like a baby again."
You look at her, hold her neck down to the bed and kiss her hard. And when you're complacent, you fall by the side of the bed while she feels heat, flames, melts of hot freezing coming from her body, she wraps herself while you tell her, "I was drunk, I'm sorry baby."
And it repeats itself over and over again. It is called a suicidal rape. You can do better Sola, this is what you do to me. You rape me when you're drunk!"
She looked straight to his eye and said fiercely, with a drop of tears strolling like the drip of melting fire of plastic bowls.
"How dare you say I rape you? Is that rape? You don't know rape. Rape is when I hit you heavily, tear your clothes and fuck you. Not when I sleep with you and...make love with you. It's when I fuck you!"
Love became a poison when I got married to you, because I couldn't marry someone else."
"Marry someone else? You want to marry someone else? Are you mad? I paid your father, I paid your dowry! I paid for the marriage, for everything, I paid!
You, you're ungrateful!"
"Don't move close Sola, don't..."
He moved closer."What if I do?"
"Sola, don't, don't, don't do it, don't move closer."
"I will kill you, I will. You wretch. You'll live your miserable life in my home and if you can't, you can end it here. Are you not a woman? you're the weakest of all. Fool! You think you can run away from me?"
"I didn't say I want to..."
He pushed her against the wall, she felt the sharp pain again.
She has been sick for a while, she has tried to avoid him. She has just finished sucking oranges in the room when Sola came in, he wanted to go out as usual when she spoke against him. He winked at her and gave a fake kiss. He wanted to go outside when she requested for a rape instead."Sola, can you rape me this time, it's better than going to...to.. . 'em."She is tired, she has caught many ladies in his office many time and she found it unbearable. She has been beaten a million time, she just want to take care of the two children his husband hasn't killed before birth unlike the three unlucky kids. She has a weaker bone already, she is next to death in few years, she wants to stop this unbearable act, rape and beating but he seem unfathomable.
"Don't move closer, Sola, don't ..."
She took the small knife and point it at him.
"Don't, or else, don't!"
"So you want to kill me? Are you scaring me with this? Who the hell do you think you are?"
He moved sharply to her as she startled, she flung her hand as it went straight to his throat. He cackled and fell holding his throat, he bled like the Ramadan ram.
She called the hospital herself and before the ambulance could come, he was still breathing, holding him, covering his throat, his bleeds, she covered them, wrapped his neck with her scarf and stuck it with her hands.
She cried..they brought the bed and ran into the ambulance. He was taken amidst his last breath. The cut...the knife penetrated.
Sade was arrested and taken.
Her body is filled with her scars, her light skin has suffered beatings and, these scars has became/become a part of her. She sees her daughter coming from the school with her school bag strapped at her back, she saw her son coming with her, she smiled weakly and hid her tears.... "I nailed myself to the cross: your cross, our cross"...
The policemen led her to the van and got her locked up for their questioning/investigation. She has been allegedly charged with a case of attempted murder.
"Sir! Is he dead? We cannot keep her for long, you know?"
"Constable, hers is a critical case, we must be careful now...."
His phone beeped,
"He wants to see his wife."
The doctor said from the other side.
Akinwale Peace AkindayoPhilip Peace
Dedicated to every woman who rightly fought back.